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College Talk Blog

Don't Compare Your Kids!

You'd think raising one child all the way to college would allow you to just repeat what you did before for your other children.  However, siblings can differ from each other, with respect to the best college for them, as much as strangers. Although parents learn much from launching their first child into college, they should keep an open mind as they help launch the rest of their children into a college or university.
It is natural to want to compare your children.  However, that can be a problem for your younger child being compared with an older sibling because children are unique and different from each other even in the same family.  This is especially problematic if your younger child is less academically inclined than an older sibling.  The comparison may make him feel as if he doesn't have what it takes to be successful in college.
Avoid worrying about a younger child who does not have the same level of academic achievement as an older child and don't pressure your children to attend the same college.  You don't have to worry about a child who goes to a less selective college.  That does not signal failure.  It signals that he is at the right college for his achievement level at the present time.
There is tremendous pressure on teens regarding college choice, majors and whether they will get in.  There is peer pressure to contend with and a daily schedule in the fall that leaves little time for anything but classes, homework and completing college admission applications.
Help your child's senior year, their last year at home with you, be as pleasant as possible.  You cannot get this time back. You will be happy later that they have such good memories of the way that you helped them get through the college process. That sets the stage for the way that they will prepare your grandchildren for the college process.

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